Yes…it is necessary. For myself, there is goingto be a bit of discomfort; for my body, the improvement should bring forth a much improved breathing and restfulness. You all truly have no clue that I am up to my eyes in discomfort, cause my right eye never closes properly. You have no there has been many night I could not sleep, embarrassed by that…one eye opened. Eyes that do not close properly create unnecessary tearing, dryness, and physical embarrassment. For myself, I have spent many decades knowing there are individuals thinking I am a snub. They might even be thinking that there is something wrong with me. And furthermore, their parents also inflicted turmoil … by addressing me in my youthful years … as being a monster from outter space.
Now I look bad and by admitting how hateful they had been. Now I look back and believe how ignorant they were. Now I look into my heart and soul with grief, which I am redistributing, innocently – into a part of my mind that nobody sees.
In a few weeks the newest picture of the surgeries will be posted, possibly October 1st, 2014.
Dr. Eugene J. Strasser has taken on the responsibility to reconstruct my facial dysfiguration, for physical need not for cosmetic appearance. In the end result there should however be a much improved physical appearance, as his expertise is magical – when he puts a patient’s needs first and foremost. As so, as my husband told me on the way home from Dr. Strasser’s office last week – “you are a very brave woman.”
Really, I am not. I used to be a geriatric health assistance in the 1970s throughout the years till the 1990s. And believe me I have seen quite a few medically and physically disfigured individuals. I attended private duty sessions with those too fragile to be alone all the time; I walked their pets, shopped and prepared a couple of meals, took them to their doctor’s office, and I cried when there was nothing that could decrease or omit their pains and sufferings. And when I was not a private duty nursing aide, convalescant and nursing homes were by means of employment. There it comes to mind how stressful my life had been. After working doubles shifts (8 hours in a nursing home and another 8 hours in a convalescant home) I was exhausted.
Rarely back then did I have as much time to spend with my family, as a good mother. Rarely did I have the psychological strength to think about my ugliness, nor the way that others view me … on the bus to and from work, in meetings, at the pool of our dwelling, and never in my wildest dream did I believe there would be a Plastic Surgeon prepared to make me improved. So thank you every minute of your life Dr. Strasser, for providing me and your other patients (those that I have never met) – just for having the skills and abilities to minimize the scars and the self insults we all share but have never spoken publicly about, as advocates for reconstructive surgery.
And other than believing in my ability to overcome my fear of not awakening from the anesthia, my heart knows it must pump me up to see the end result, and to give you a big hug – from me and husband. Yes, from my husband because he has lived with me through all sorts of marital conditions…good, bad, and silenced about my appearance. He has probably another ten good years – to appeciate and to re-establish his mind’s sight; he always told me back in the day that I was beautiful. I thought he was being polite.
And although I may never be ‘beautiful’ as a model or movie star – I will breath and sleep better each night of the rest of my life. My husband will not be disturbed by me struggling to get a deep nasal inhalation, he will not have to turn over to an open-eye foolish looking me. And with all that said my heart feels the calmness that should have been completed years ago. For now, just having the end result halfway as good as perfect will be the best offering of God’s eyes to my doctor’s hands.
Anybody interested in finding out the how and why and when of my disfigurement, please request the book entitled: My Thoughts by Lana Reddock. This book is a self-published book, in 2001, available on the http://www.authorhouse.com website. You can order a book in paperback as well as the eBook. I hope nobody feels this is a pitch for sales … sales is not my option … setting the neighbors and other individuals straight about the way they look down their nose at me and anybody that is different. It is my autobiography, the way I wanted it to be, to shed the horrible memories that were bestowed upon me since the early 1950s.
Currently most individuals in the Tamarac and Fort Lauderdale areas in Florida know me as a Volunteer; Yes, my ugliness did not stop me from pursueing educationally, occupationally, nor romantically. So never believe life stinks…when your life falls apart…there is always an opportunity or a chance that you will overcome all or most of the negativity. Have faith in yourself, your god, and your that specialist willing to take the time and provide proper care.
To finalize this particular Blog, I advanced educationally to achieve a few degrees; Private Investigation, Business Administration, Instructional Technology…. Yes, I am better than others perceive. Not in a snubbish way; I am better because I have more knowledge. I have expertise in the fields mentioned…and I am blessed. That to me is far more important than being a deceitful and false person.
Tomorrow is my daughter’s birthday and she will be as usual, the star on this day. She brought me inner courage, and without her beauty I may not have ever considered having my reconstructive surgery, because she has most of my looks that should have been…!
Lana T Reddock, M. of E