is my birthday, again; hmmm…! No I’m not admitting to be older than oops – I better stop now or somebody will guess. Age is just a number but for me and many others it is a significant calculation, of the time we have spent on this Earth. Whether we have put forth something special or not is merely a thought that desires conditions and critique of purpose and time-frame. As for just me – I have not done much worth bragging over, nor will I ever achieve much more than I already have, and most likely when I die there will be no sensationalism. There may of course be something or somebody who remembers the ugly-one during the mid-1950s and early-1960s. Miss Personality was my voted title in elementary or junior high school; it made me cry. I wanted to be something else — but, now it doesn’t matter.
Beyond the latter portion of the 1960s I did stuff others would have shook their head, shrugged their shoulders, and possibly have turned their nose up at – because I spent several years caring for survivors (after their mother passed on). Then I moved on to continue raising my sons, struggling to make ends meet, and just wishing I would have been more educated.
By the 1970s things looked differently; I moved from Florida to New York (where I had lived most of my young life). I found a way to become a certified nursing assistant, in the field of geriatric health. For many years I worked as a private duty aide, which an agency gave me patients. In the nighttime hours I worked in a tavern, earning tips and a small salary. And as things started to look better, I found myself pregnant with my daughter. How wonderful, how troublesome, and how stupendous – except numerous queries entered most of the pregnancy. ‘Could I not screw up financially? Will my sons be okay with having a sister? Can goodness come my way? ‘And there must have been a zillion other fears, many are not fresh in my mind. As that decade neared its finale’ nothing could keep me and my children in the New York; the weather pushed our lives into hell, along with many other families. So I sold everything and took the bus to Florida, hmmm, yep!
Arriving January 2, 1979 was when I made myself do one last look at how dumb this move could be; fortunately, I had a wonderful aunt that helped me and my children. And, from that moment forward – I never left Florida – because the weather is far better, for me and my family.
Then came the 1980s, just filled with differences from the expected. I fell in love, married, and had another baby (my youngest son). How strange after getting away from the diapers, mid-sleeping time feedings, and the teething and toilet training stages. Somehow this was the perfect way to move along, into the future, not alone but as a family. Bob, Lana, Frankie, Dennis, Jennifer, and Russell. We worked together and laughed together. We shared anger, happiness, and individual concerns … which more often than not … about teenage years and peer pressure to what do we need an education for ….
Soon enough the teenage sons learned how necessary knowledge was, to advance in any kind of employment. Elementary age daughter learned to have knowledge, friendship, and that she was depended upon – as a helper at home. And the youngest son learned to conform, in a household of different age-groups. Such a wonderful life and yet some much turmoil, taking its toll on all of us. And by the 1990s the misery had passed and we brushed off our sadness, opened our hearts to preserve traditional marriage and family living. And today, and throughout most of the past 2 decades – our hearts grew stronger and our minds lifted us to believe in our dreams.
Once the 21st century arose things continued to blast into being stronger than ever, no matter what mode. And perhaps that is the basics for any successful lifestyle – just pursuing inner-strength and mutual respect for one another. Whatever the reason my household stands firmly on solid ground that can of course be broken, should one of us be taken by selfishness. But, for now, 67 will be my total years of contemplating what to do, what to believe, and what to wish for – for the rest of my life. Mostly, I wish that my life does not fumpher along aimlessly. I wish to be gently powerful, as a grandparent, parent, spouse, and finally a pet owner. Who could wish for anything more than being blessed by the choices they made?!?
That’s about all to brag about, to complain about, and to think about! May everybody have greatness, if only for themselves, as they too age beautifully with or without me.
Lana T Reddock,